Do not trust

Entitlement Bird


Entitlement Bird 

Who is Entitlement Bird?

To answer this question, I must first give you the details of my encounter with this sneaky avian being.

It was Friday afternoon.  I was leaving work, eager for the weekend to come, when I saw a poor tragic figure begging for help.  There I was, ready, primed to go start my weekend, but this bird is perched in the bushes, looking stuck, and miserable.  I get close to see if it's ok, and it weakly opens it mouth begging for food.  Since I'm not a bird, I don't have any worms to regurgitate into his mouth.  I did have some sunflower seeds in the car.  So I grab them, come back to the bird chew a few up and dropped the mush into the poor bird's beak.  He didn't seem interested.

Since this wasn't working, I needed advice.  I called my roommate and asked her opinion.  I told her that maybe it just wasn't an adult yet and couldn't take care of itself.  She suggested I bring it home and we could help.  She told me not to get my scent on it though.  No problem I have a little box and some towels.

I  approach the bird, poised to gently shoo him into the box and take him to safety, but to my surprise he jumps up, runs away, cursing me out while crapping in my general direction.

YES, you read it right.  The bird cursed me out and crapped at me.  How could I tell he was cursing?  Trust me it was obvious, as was the poop he projectile launched out of his little bird ass.

SushiSo, it's ok for me to bring food, but the minute any inconvenience was involved, Entitlement Bird was too good for it.   Entitlement bird wanted room service and nothing else.

I acknowledge that he was unable to fly, most likely scared.  But let's use logic here, Bird, I could have destroyed you when you sat there with your yap wide opened expecting me to shove food into your pie hole.  So I am not buying the 'I was so scared' bullshit.  You just wanted to be catered to.  You felt that you deserved five star treatment, free delivery, maybe even a happy ending, though I don't know how a bird would even do that.


Have you met entitlement bird?

You know the type, people who expect to get 'the cash they deserve', or those who feel that traffic rules weren't written for them.  The people who cut in line because they are so much more important than you.   The people who bring the screaming infant into a movie theater because their movie viewing experience is the only one that matters. 

Had enough? 

I have.  I am tired of people (and birds) thinking their time and convenience is more important than mine.   Some people need to learn that the world is not just about making themselves more comfortable.

What can we do?  Can we change this? 

I doubt there is anything we can do, besides say "no".  Maybe if enough people tell Entitlement Bird that he is not going to get his way, he will learn his lesson and act accordingly.

What if Entitlement Bird cuts me off in traffic and flipped me off, can I beat the crap out of him than?

BmerI would too like the snack the crap out of Entitlement Bird when he drives like an assaholic, but that would involve jail time, and we don't have that kind of time to spare, do we? 





Is that really the original Entitlement Bird's picture on the top of this page?

Yes, it is.  I took it before I called my roommate to ask for advice. 



Just say NO! 

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