Deck the halls with bags of brackets

Ok, I am not a person of the Christian persuasion, but when it comes to Christmas I can relate. It is an important holiday. Despite the rampant consumerism that occurs during this Yuletide season (read retail season), there is supposed to be a degree of decorum in respect to the expression of holiday cheer. There are just some things that are truly tacky to do. For example, certain Christ-themed items might not be the greatest idea to market. I doubt that people would really want to buy a Chia-Christ to give to their sweet gray haired mother. Another questionable Christmas affectation I was recently told about was wearing mistletoe on ones belt buckle. This is definitely not something you want to wear to church on Christmas Eve. The final faux pas that I will mention is that of inappropriate cards.

We all have seen tacky and just plain tasteless cards. I am not talking about those. I am talking about the ones that are sent by vendors that do little more than highlight their products. See the card below. The company's name has been removed to protect the not-so-innocent.

†Front looks ok, but the inside holds the true surprise. †Wow, don't you feel the warm†holiday spirit!

As suggested to me by one of my coworkers, the three wise men must have had a hell of a time schlepping an entire freaking mall to baby Jesus via donkey. And we all know metal and plastic brackets are a universal symbol of piece and love. What are these people thinking? Do they think that I am going to say "Wow! They wished me seasonís greetings so I must buy this thing from them now?"

Maybe I am overreacting.† I don't think so.† I know this is not the worse out there either.† I'll tell you this.† I am not likely to by any brackets from this company after seeing this card.

Well maybe we need to sink to their level for a moment.† I decided that we need†a rebuttal card.† Maybe a personalized intrepretation of what that card means to me.††Here goes:†

Looks innocent enough! But the message is very clear!


I think this says it all.† This is the new Christmas spirit.† Feigned holiday wishes followed by demands for gratification.† Horray for the Christmas season!