Damn you Emperor Bzznap and your evil plans of conquest! 




You see, I never noticed the clause in my lease agreement that gives you full access to my apartment through that space/time vortex originating from your world and terminating in my kitchen. 

I had no idea that I would have to do hand to hand combat with your kind every time I wanted a snack or to cook dinner, or even to drink my damned coffee in the morning. 




Now your armies advance through my living room, to my bedroom, collecting supplies for your epic campaign of world domination.  You don't even scurry away when I enter MY kitchen.  You just stand there defiantly, filling your carts with MY food.  You even try to take food from me as I am cooking it.  You just parachute down from the ceiling, or where ever your secret base is, and surround me with your threatening posture.


Evidently, you have other such vortexes in my neighbor's apartments, because I see your minions drilling and marching from door to door.  Though you do seem to have some dissension in your ranks, because I've seem some brawling taking place over a choice piece of cheese or a cold half of cup of coffee.

And one more thing.  The suicide bombings have got to stop.  I can't keep replacing dishes every time your troops feel a sudden rush of religious zeal.  Maybe you should find a way to keep your horde in line, because they are definitely not a cohesive force.


But you know what, don't even worry about it.  Go ahead and plot your little occupation.  I'm doing some recruiting of my own, and we'll see who wins this fight, bitch.