So there we were. Tracy, Marie and I at lunch.
We had just picked up Marie’s new toy (a very small notebook computer to
use as a pda), and we were enjoying our fine, greasy,
Chinese cuisine. Suddenly Marie starts
poking, me saying my name and gesturing behind us. That’s when
What was it that caught Marie and Tracy’s attention, you may
ask? It was a woman having a dispute
with a soda machine. I know that this is
not an uncommon occurrence. And it
started as a common enough situation. Woman pays a dollar for soda; no soda comes
out; woman smacks machine. But that is
not where it ended.
No, it gets far more disturbing.
She starts beating on the machine.
Ok this is still understandable.
Many people hit machines when they are frustrated with their lack of
functionality. However, it still goes
further than this.
After beating the machine for some time, she gets really angry,
tears all the stickers off of the machine and rips the power cord out of the outlet. Once the cord is out of the outlet, she jumps
up and down on it, repeatedly.
During this whole time, she has not uttered a word. In fact she is completely devoid of audible
sound even as she beats the living hell out of the machine.
After stomping on the plug for a while, our
First she grabs a huge bunch of napkins and spreads them across the
table. Then she grabs a cup of
water. She walks back out of the door
with cup of water in hand, and decided to show the machine what it is supposed
to be dispensing as she throws the water onto the machine. Apparently this did not satisfy her
overwhelming need for vengeance, because the battle continues.
She walks back into the restaurant and grabs another huge handful
of napkins and spreads them across the other half of the table. The she grabs a cup of coffee from behind the
counter. She just grabs a cup and
reaches around to the coffee carafe and helps herself to some steamy java. But it’s not for her, no. It’s for the cause. She is prepared to vanquish her foe with this
steamy cup of caffeinated death.
So what does she do? Does
she throw it at the machine and do a dance of victory? Does she mock it saying “I have achieved
caffeine despite you!”? No. She pours it on the electrical outlet that
she had just pulled the machine’s plug out of.
This leaves one to wonder.
Is he going to plug it back in to try to electrocute the machine? Was she trying to deprive the machine of its
only source of sustenance? Is she aware
that these outside outlets are weather proof?
What goal does she mean to achieve?
We never got our answers.
Soon after the last drop of coffee was spilt onto the battlefield she
came back in and seemed to settle down.
Alas, it was time for Tracy and I to get back
to work, so we could not wait around and see what would transpire next. I pondered upon the hour’s events, reflecting
on the possibility that she may have been one of those incompetent terrorists
you hear about in the news.
We may never know what went through the mind of our mystery machine
assailant. But one thing is
certain. Some things are just bigger
than the dollar you lost in the vending machine, and apparently one of those
things is Pepsi.
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©Margret Treiber February, 2005