This is going to be very unpopular. People will most likely claim that I am writing this because I am a sad, jealous, childless woman. But that’s not my issue. In fact, for the most part, I like people’s children, especially when they spontaneously combust.

What I don’t like is the behavior of some children’s parents, specifically the ones on the internet who feel that they must identify themselves through their children.

More specifically? Let’s talk about email addresses, and nicknames.

Most people choose to use either their real name or something that describes their unique qualities. Even when they are bad names, they say something about the person. bighonkingdude72@aohell.com brings an image to mind. scientist8347@xmail.com also gives us an idea of what type of person is at the keyboard.

My beef, mommyof17@pahoo.com, fifismom@potmail.com, maryandbobsma@emailserver.com. WHY? Aren’t you a person? Why not just name yourself breeder@ihavenootherpurpose.com or forgetera@myhusbandsemail.com.

Geez! You’re a freakin person, not a robotic baby machine. Yes, the kids are cute. Yes, I see you try to be the best mommy possible, but don’t YOU have any hobbies? What happened to radicaljelloshotgrrl@colledge.com? Did she sell her soul for a luxury SUV and a mink and become a mindless drone?

Come on, you soulless breeder bitch, snap out of it! Live dangerously, get a real email address. Be crazy, use your name. I’d much rather see Sallyb0099@junkmailho.com than, noesteemmommy@pointless.org. Save yourself, already! WTF?